This was a tough year for my writing schedule. Despite attending two conferences and self publishing a short story collection(my first published book!), I struggled to write. I’d like to blame it all on my pregnancy and the sickness and tiredness that came with it. But when I’m honest, I can see that while those trials weakened me, my own laziness did worse. Yes, it’s hard to build a world while dealing with nausea. Yes, it’s hard to outline a novel for even an hour a day when I’m too tired to empty the dishwasher.
But as I consider the writing opportunities I missed this year, I can’t deny that it was my reaction to the trials that took me down.
I should have—and I did, to some degree—spent more time asking God to help me deal with the lack of energy. I should have remade my schedule to give me time to rest, but also time to work.
Instead, I mostly took breaks because I felt sorry for myself. I stepped back from God’s calling on my life because “that’s what you do when you’re pregnant.”
I’m sad for the times I missed out on God’s extra grace and strength. But I remember days when He inspired my fingers and filled me with wonder at what came out. I want more of those experiences, and I know the only way I can have them is to lean on Him for strength.
You may not be pregnant, but we all experience seasons of weakness. Remember that it isn’t the trials that decide who you will be. Your response will decide. Rejoice that we follow a God who only asks for surrender in exchange for limitless strength and grace.